Savouring simple daily pleasures
A little extra post for December 1st as it marks the final month of my no-buy year.
I’ll be completely transparent- I failed. But not really.
Let me explain.
I failed in the sense that I did not succeed in not buying ANYTHING, or strictly speaking in only buying within the parameters I set myself last January.
However, I have learned such a lot from the last 12 months.
Firstly, for me, 12 months was rather ambitious. I realize that now totally and it dawned on me by around February.....
I didn’t take in to account how emotionally driven I can be when I shop for clothing. I knew I got a buzz, the endorphins rushed, the glow of wearing a new item or imagining oneself almost as a slightly different version. New and improved- if I buy this*** I’ll feel like ***( insert- skirt, boots, leggings, jacket, whatever!) and those very chemicals firing in our brains make us want more, do it again, purchase the next item we need.
I'm not necessarily just shopping for the buzz, but for the emotional reward. The imagined way I think I will feel when I wear the item. How I will carry myself, behave and project....
What I underestimated was all the other ways shopping, and clothing, made me feel.
Clothing is a form of self expression, and indeed in our fast-paced world its often fleeting encounters with people- no matter your standpoint on fashion or tastes- we see people as we meet them, and within that package of a smile, a handshake, a greeting- is how we present ourselves.
Tom Ford is quoted as saying
"Dressing well is a form of good manners"
I couldn't agree more. Our urge to purchase something for a specific event, whatever that may be, is as much to do with feeling our best and self-confidence as it is the thrill of a new purchase- often more so.
I like to hone my looks to suit what I'm doing, and with whom; but I always like to feel well presented, and a true reflection of myself- with that confidence comes hand in hand. I may come across as a naturally confident person, but in reality my clothing can ultimately be my armor- in a social situation where you don't know anyone and may feel a little intimidated, nervous and lacking in confidence- what you wear can bring YOU to the fore, projecting your own uniqueness and style while simultaneously boosting the inner you to feel your armor is in place, and you're ready for it. Think business meeting in a sharp tailoring with an edge- a peek of red or a leopardskin heel; a dinner event where you don't know most of the guests, but exude an air of friendly confidence and approachability with a silk cami, a fitted jacket with pushed up sleeves and cigarette pants - the boost is in the accessories that speak to your personality and unique attributes.
Coco Chanel herself famously said "Fashion Changes, but style endures"
Its too easy to put our desire to present ourselves in our best light down as frivolity, unnecessary or masking less intellect. But its not the case. When we leave the house for whatever occasion feeling our personal best, that radiates from us- we carry that with us, and it shines. People notice. They notice you- the clothes just allow that transaction.
Sometimes, we crave that experience of purchasing a garment that we believe not only fits within our true style, but will build on it and help us project that and carry it with us- essentially making us happier. This is not shallow as such, its a tool. No different to having a hair cut, a manicure, or using a breath mint! Its about impressions, and putting our best selves forward. showing we care enough to make the effort.
Its that feeling I have noticed I've been wanting to experience- and its grown in strength through these past 11 months. When I was teetering on the edge of accepting a new job, I felt so strongly inclined to "armor" myself with clothes that would allow me to perform at my best, feel confident, and feel like it was a new beginning. A new path. It wasn't about fast cheap fashion. Or an impulse buy, It was deeper than that. It was a way to change and morph into a new role, a new chapter. Metamorphosis.
I am an advocate for quality over quantity, and one thing that has really been highlighted in my wardrobe with my current clothing is the idea of a cost-per-wear ticket on any given item hanging in my closet. As I walked to work last week I recalled that the shirt I was wearing I purchased from a pop-up waaay back before I became a mother even. (My eldest is 17)
The brand was Herringbone, Sydney- known for its finely tailored shirts which became popular with investment bankers and corporate execs. At the time I purchased 2 of their shirts, heavily discounted, but for me at that stage of my life, a hefty investment for a button-up shirt. This shirt has been worn, laundered and enjoyed for close to 20 years! It has one small stain on the cuff, and for perhaps 2 years was passed on to my mother who wore it while I was a new mum, and then passed it back to me. At the time, I seem to remember my then boyfriends eyes on stalks at the splurge, but now, if I were to look at the cost per wear on that shirt- it's probably cost me less than 2C per time I've worn it!
And this doesn't have to apply to big-ticket items per se- but it does only apply to quality items. Garments that are not produced with care or decent materials will not stand the test of time- maybe even a season. It doesn't mean you can't pick up a quality piece at a fraction of the cost second-hand or at a consignment store. My favorite leather jackets cost me under $50, but is well made, high quality, and would originally held a hefty price tag.
Granted, I'm sure we've all been disappointed once in a while with an investment piece that hasn't stood up to wear as we'd anticipated, but this is usually quite rare. I can only think of one or two examples of this in my own closet.
The takeaway keys to get the most for your cost per wear are Timeless Quality, and Classic Style.
I'm tempted to purchase a sequin skirt for a bit of frivolity and sparkle at parties or evening events, but I am aware that in a year or two they'll be dated and old hat- until they roll around again, so I'm not prepared to spend a huge amount on one- I'd prefer to wait for a sale, so I can buy a reasonable quality one, at a lesser cost to my wallet.
So, with that said, as Black Friday sales dwindle in favor of Cyber Mondays deals, I will sign off my NO BUY YEAR.
It taught me to value what I have, purchase wisely, and look for timeless classic well-made pieces. It has taught me even more about my own personal style; this is a journey that continues ebbs and flows and constantly develops and shifts with the seasons of life and the years. There is no perfect formula. But it's good- and fun- to strive for one.
To feel confident in your clothing, good about their manufacturing, and most importantly, the glow will only really truly come from being
Bien dans sa peau.
A Bientot x
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