Savoring simple daily pleasures
Resentment is a funny thing. It rarely shows up all at once. More often, it creeps in slowly—layer by layer—each time we ignore a feeling, override our own needs, or let someone step over a line we never clearly drew. If we consistently allow people to run over our boundaries, resentment is almost inevitable.
And honestly, nobody enjoys feeling resentful. I don’t know many people who like feeling put upon, grumpy, or quietly irritated. Yet so many of us walk around carrying exactly that, wondering why we feel exhausted or short-tempered, without realising the root cause is often unmet or unspoken boundaries.
Boundaries are not walls. They’re not punishments or ultimatums. They’re simply clear markers of what feels okay for us and what doesn’t—emotionally, physically, mentally, and practically. We have boundaries in all areas of life: with family, friends, colleagues, partners, and even ourselves. The trouble is, if we don’t acknowledge them, no one else can be expected to respect them.
Most resentment comes from repeated “yes” responses when we really meant “no,” or “not right now,” or “that’s not something I can take on.” Over time, those swallowed responses turn into frustration, passive-aggressive behaviour, or emotional withdrawal.
Think about everyday examples. Maybe you’re always the one expected to walk the dog, even on days when you’re exhausted. Or perhaps you’re assumed to be available for child-minding without being asked, because “you don’t mind.” At work, you might be handed a project that’s well beyond your current skill set or capacity, but you agree anyway—because you don’t want to disappoint anyone or appear incapable.
Then there are the unspoken financial assumptions: picking up the bill, lending money, or contributing more than feels comfortable. Or the domestic expectations—no one helping around the house, yet laundry magically gets done and dinner appears on the table. Over time, these moments add up.
Holidays can be another big one. The expectation of being at a certain place, eating a specific meal, or following a particular schedule can feel heavy. This isn’t about rejecting rituals or traditions altogether—those can be meaningful and grounding—but about noticing when participation feels obligatory rather than chosen.
The key point is this: boundaries are personal. What feels fine for one person may feel draining or overwhelming for another. There is no universal rulebook. But if we search ourselves honestly, most of us already know where our boundaries are. We feel them in our bodies—in the tight chest, the sigh, the irritation that comes out of nowhere.
Sometimes, what’s missing isn’t awareness but articulation. Taking time to clarify our boundaries for ourselves is a powerful first step. Journaling, making a simple list, or sitting quietly to reflect can help bring them into focus. When you name them—even privately—you start to honour them.
Once you’re clear, you can begin to gently but firmly assert those boundaries when it’s appropriate. That doesn’t mean confrontation or conflict. It can be calm, respectful, and kind. Setting boundaries helps establish a tone and a precedent for how you wish to be treated.
In the end, boundaries don’t create distance—they create healthier relationships. When we respect our own limits, we reduce resentment and show up with more patience, generosity, and ease. And that’s something everyone benefits from, including us.