Savouring simple daily pleasures 

A little extra post for December 1st as it marks the final month of my no-buy year. 

I’ll be completely transparent- I failed. But not really. 

Let me explain. 

I failed in the sense that I did not succeed in not buying ANYTHING, or strictly speaking in only buying within the parameters  I set myself last January. 

However, I have learned such a lot from the last 12 months. 

Firstly, for me, 12 months was rather ambitious. I realize that now totally and it dawned on me by around February.....

I didn’t take in to account how emotionally driven I can be when I shop for clothing. I knew I got a buzz, the endorphins rushed, the glow of wearing a new item or imagining oneself almost as a slightly different version. New and improved- if I buy this*** I’ll feel like ***( insert- skirt, boots, leggings, jacket, whatever!) and those very chemicals firing in our brains make us want more, do it again, purchase the next item we need. 

I'm not necessarily just shopping for the buzz, but for the emotional reward. The imagined way I think I will feel when I wear the item. How I will carry myself, behave and project....

What I underestimated was all the other ways shopping, and clothing, made me feel. 

Clothing is a form of self expression, and indeed in our fast-paced world its often fleeting encounters with people- no matter your standpoint on fashion or tastes- we see people as we meet them, and within that package of a smile, a handshake, a greeting- is how we present ourselves. 

Tom Ford is quoted as saying 

"Dressing well is a form of good manners"

I couldn't agree more. Our urge to purchase something for a specific event, whatever that may be, is as much to do with feeling our best and self-confidence as it is the thrill of a new purchase- often more so. 

I like to hone my looks to suit what I'm doing, and with whom; but I always like to feel well presented, and a true reflection of myself- with that confidence comes hand in hand. I may come across as a naturally confident person, but in reality my clothing can ultimately be my armor- in a social situation where you don't know anyone and may feel a little intimidated, nervous and lacking in confidence- what you wear can bring YOU to the fore, projecting your own uniqueness and style while simultaneously boosting the inner you to feel your armor is in place, and you're ready for it.  Think business meeting in a sharp tailoring with an edge- a peek of red or a leopardskin heel; a dinner event where you don't know most of the guests, but exude an air of friendly confidence and approachability with a silk cami, a fitted jacket with pushed up sleeves and cigarette pants - the boost is in the accessories that speak to your personality and unique attributes. 

Coco Chanel herself famously said "Fashion Changes, but style endures" 

Its too easy to put our desire to present ourselves in our best light down as frivolity, unnecessary or masking less intellect. But its not the case. When we leave the house for whatever occasion feeling our personal best, that radiates from us- we carry that with us, and it shines. People notice. They notice you- the clothes just allow that transaction. 

Sometimes, we crave that experience of purchasing a garment that we believe not only fits within our true style, but will build on it and help us project that and carry it with us- essentially making us happier. This is not shallow as such, its a tool. No different to having a hair cut, a manicure, or using a breath mint! Its about impressions, and putting our best selves forward. showing we care enough to make the effort. 

Its that feeling I have noticed I've been wanting to experience- and its grown in strength through these past 11 months. When I was teetering on the edge of accepting a new job, I felt so strongly inclined to "armor" myself with clothes that would allow me to perform at my best, feel confident, and feel like it was a new beginning. A new path.  It wasn't about fast cheap fashion. Or an impulse buy, It was deeper than that. It was a way to change and morph into a new role, a new chapter. Metamorphosis. 

 I am an advocate for quality over quantity, and one thing that has really been highlighted in my wardrobe with my current clothing is the idea of a cost-per-wear ticket on any given item hanging in my closet. As I walked to work last week I recalled that the shirt I was wearing I purchased from a pop-up waaay back before I became a mother even. (My eldest is 17) 

The brand was Herringbone, Sydney- known for its finely tailored shirts which became popular with investment bankers and corporate execs. At the time I purchased 2 of their shirts, heavily discounted, but for me at that stage of my life, a hefty investment for a button-up shirt. This shirt has been worn, laundered and enjoyed for close to 20 years! It has one small stain on the cuff, and for perhaps 2 years was passed on to my mother who wore it while I was a new mum, and then passed it back to me. At the time,  I seem to remember my then boyfriends eyes on stalks at the splurge, but now, if I were to look at the cost per wear on that shirt- it's probably cost me less than 2C per time I've worn it! 

And this doesn't have to apply to big-ticket items per se- but it does only apply to quality items. Garments that are not produced with care or decent materials will not stand the test of time- maybe even a season. It doesn't mean you can't pick up a quality piece at a fraction of the cost second-hand or at a consignment store. My favorite leather jackets cost me under $50, but is well made, high quality, and would originally held a hefty price tag. 

Granted, I'm sure we've all been disappointed once in a while with an investment piece that hasn't stood up to wear as we'd anticipated, but this is usually quite rare. I can only think of one or two examples of this in my own closet.

The takeaway keys to get the most for your cost per wear are Timeless Quality, and Classic Style. 

I'm tempted to purchase a sequin skirt for a bit of frivolity and sparkle at parties or evening events, but I am aware that in a year or two they'll be dated and old hat- until they roll around again, so I'm not prepared to spend a huge amount on one- I'd prefer to wait for a sale, so I can buy a reasonable quality one, at a lesser cost to my wallet. 

So, with that said, as Black Friday sales dwindle in favor of Cyber Mondays deals, I will sign off my NO BUY YEAR. 

It taught me to value what I have, purchase wisely, and look for timeless classic well-made pieces. It has taught me even more about my own personal style; this is a journey that continues ebbs and flows and constantly develops and shifts with the seasons of life and the years. There is no perfect formula. But it's good- and fun- to strive for one. 

To feel confident in your clothing, good about their manufacturing, and most importantly, the glow will only really truly come from being 

Bien dans sa peau. 

A Bientot x

 Savouring simple daily pleasures

As we rapidly crank up towards end-of-year activities, Christmas festivities, and longed-for summer holidays, I'm fighting the inevitable overwhelm of there not being enough hours in the day, and constantly trying to keep one step ahead in my mind of the next task, engagement, appointment, commitment or whatever else is in the diary. Also, acutley aware that its only going to get busier for a couple of weeks!

I'm actively being mindful and remaining present, taking each task and day in bite-sized pieces. One thing at a time. And in the glorious distance- without wishing away the fun, family, and special Christmas cheer- is a blissful few weeks of summer at the beach.

I am finding that as our schedule gets fuller, if I don't consciously talk myself down and breathe, my mind races, my heart rate stays permanently elevated, and anxiety creeps up- resulting in feeling stressed, not sleeping properly, and that awful feeling of overwhelm. 

Today was a day I was grateful for another rainy Saturday- it seems to feel more justified to run errands, clean, and be more centered at home when it's drizzling. I'm not being called into the garden, or feeling I'm wasting the precious sun by being indoors more. Usually, I would still go for an afternoon walk for an hour or so- but as the rain is still steadily falling, and my body is showing signs of being a little rundown already, I have chosen to stay put. A good ol' power hour (Or two) of some household cleaning tasks interspersed with shopping for a birthday gift and an impromptu lunch out- and wrapping up my afternoon just as I stated my morning; Sitting under the shelter of the pergola, with one of the cats and the patter of rain and babbling of the stream as my background. The birds are still singing even though they must be rather damp, and I can see on a distant branch one characteristically plump and satisfying-looking Keruru (Native wood Pigeon). 

Maybe I should look more to the animals surrounding me- when its wet, they shelter, they doze and pass the day gently- once it dries up the cats and birds have far more energy, and are busy and active for many more hours. Its inbuilt in them, they understand without having to reflect like us. Granted they don't have the same commitments or to-do lists- nevertheless! 

I find in times like these, as the pressure and expectation of the festive season inevitably mount, taking little bite-size tasks, and chores, and trying to focus singularly on them until completed, is far more approachable then being bogged down with the enormity of the bigger picture.

WHen we returned from our longer-than-anticipated shopping trip and impromptu lunch, I was feeling a little flustered (Okay, a lot flustered) that the day was getting ahead of me, I hadn't got the house nice and clean as I'd wanted to - not just as it was needed but so as to be able to enjoy it over the weekend and delight in the tidy, fresh orderliness this evening. Once I'd made a start- and to my delight my husband also pitched in and took care of all the vacuuming (350+ M2!) I felt so much calmer, so much more in control and like I'd taken back my weekend. It seems silly, but just tackling something, making a start, acting not procrastinating, changes your mindset almost instantaneously. 

Now, I keep a pretty clean and orderly home. I have a regular cleaning schedule and attend to laundry tasks and such like daily. But in times of stress and over-packed schedules, I'll admit the first thing to slip is the home. I will always do the basics- the bathrooms are always clean, the laundry up to date and I never, ever leave dishes piling up or a messy kitchen- but deep cleaning tasks, or clutter hot spots, dusting, and more than a cursory vacuum with my stick Dyson is just about all I manage - and if this goes on for a few weeks at a time as it has recently, all of a sudden it's more than I can bear! 

The key is to take a breath, make a REALISTIC list, and make a start- however small. Often once you start one thing leads to another and you find you have a renewed zellor and vigor to accomplish it all. 

I now feel relaxed, and accomplished and am very much looking forward to preparing a simple meal, enjoying a hot bath, and climbing into my fresh linens early- ready to wake to a clean, orderly home, bright and fresh on Sunday. 

 Savoring simple daily pleasures

As I sit here typing, the rain increases in heaviness, I have a steaming cup of favourite tea at my side, and the house is filled with the combined scents of fresh rain, clean laundry, and home baking. 

My day began a little later than usual being Saturday, and a long early walk was enjoyed before the rain set in more earnestly. 

Is there anything more evocative of sheer weekend coziness than freshly made up beds,  cozy baking with gentle classical music filtering throughout the house along with the aromas,  and while the rain streaks the windows- having already filled your lungs with fresh clean air-  knowing there is nothing more to concern yourself with than what to create for your evening meal, and which book to pick up while a pet snuggles in for an afternoon doze. 

I don't think I could feel more content and peacefully happy at this exact moment. 

Please enjoy my adapted recipe of the Kiwi classic, sultana loaf. I made mine gluten free, but the original calls for ordinary weetbix and regular self raising flour. 

Sultana and Weetbix Loaf, Gluten free

INGREDIENTS

8 Gluten free weetbix, crushed

1 1/2 cups sugar (White, soft brown or a mixture- even coconut sugar)

2 cups sultanas

120g softened salted butter

2 cups boiling water

2 eggs

2 cups GF self raising flour

generous pinch cinnamon or mixed spice

1-2  sweet apples, cored and roughly chopped

Optional 1/2 cup roasted almonds or walnuts

METHOD

Preheat oven to 170degrees and line 2 loaf tins

Crumble weetbix into a bowl and pour the 2 cups boiling water over the top, allow to stand for 5 minutes. 

Add cubed butter, stir and then add all other ingredients. mix well to combine. 

Pour into the 2 loaf tins and bake for 55-65 minutes until a skewer comes out clean.

Serve with or without butter and an obligatory pot of tea. 

 

Have a wonderful weekend x

 Savoring simple daily pleasures 

I thought a little list of elegant, luxurious and charming items would be a fun way to wrap up this wet and rainy Friday. Keeping us present and grateful for the little things, and caring and appreciative of our home and surroundings. 

I've listed below a few objects or products you might enjoy incorporating in to your everydays to add a little whimsy, joy and sparkle. 

1. An elegant, beautifully designed candle lighter. I didn't know I needed one of these until a dear friend gifted me one for a birthday. So much more attractive than a box of matches or a clunky plastic lighter. I have tried antique match strikers but I think the way matches are produced here inhibits them from being able to ignite against traditional match strikers. This one is slim and elegant and even chargeable with a USB. 

2. If we have a beautiful way of lighting it then we need an equally beautiful candle to be lit! I am a candle fiend, and very sensitive to scents, enjoying all sorts depending on the season or even the time of day. My husband lovingly refers to me burning money when I purchase candles- especially the more extravagant ones, but I do believe you get what you pay for and a beautiful scent can elevate your mood, and set the tone and atmosphere of the home, in addition to creating a warm flickering glow. 

If Frangrance isn't your thing, beeswax or simple long white table candles can still create a very calming, and chic ambience. I love Carrier Freres for a touch of French elegance, Cote Noire for their beautiful receptacles, and glasshouse as go to's around my home- with scents such as Taaha (Warm vanilla caramel) Kyoto (Neroli, jasmine and pink pepper) Carrier Freres Orange blossom, Yuzu, pine and cedar or lemon verbena. I am working up to the king of candles- Trudon. I'll keep my eye out for sales and specials as they are quite an investment. 

3. Sheepskin. Even in summer I love to step out of bed onto my plump and thick sheepskin rug - a pair either side of our bed.  In winter you will rarely find me padding around the house without my sheepskin moccasins or scuffs on. (one pair for day, one pair for pre morning shower or post evening bath.... of course ;-) )

4. Soap. I love a good cake of soap, and soap can be so luxurious. Unwrapping a new cake, inhaling its clean scent, and placing it in the shower or by your bath tub is a little pleasure I look forward to when the last bar is down to a sliver. I am an advocate for Savon De Marseille - their iconic olive green cubes, but I also love a locally made one i may pick up at a farmers market, or every year or 6 months I treat myself to an order form Bend Soap in Oregon who do the most incredible milk bath using goat milk and natural oils and scents. 

5. Linen sheets. I was ALWAYS a pure Egyptian cotton girl but have recently made the transition ( and investment) in to Belgian linen. Cool in the summer, warm in the winter, all natural, and proven to aid with a better more restful sleep, keeping the body temperature stable and allowing air to circulate. Climbing into fresh, line dried linen is next level luxury. I picked my initial set up at a huge discount so keep an eye out and build your collection slowly. They'll last if cared for properly and are well and truly worth the investment. 

6. Fresh flowers are a weakness of mine- even on a walk I struggle not to stop, take in the scent, maybe snap a photo. You don't have to buy a bouquet from the florist every week- as lovely and luxurious as that may be, but supermarket flowers arranged thoughtfully, a bunch form a farmers market, or a single perfect stem of something pretty in a bud vase. I currently have an array of exquisite roses in various colors and varietals around the house and a very delicate mauve one by my bed, the last thing I see at night and the first thing to greet me in the mornings. 

7. A quality, well made sharp kitchen knife. Look for a good weight, comfortable in the hand, from a reputable brand OR a artisan or craftsman. Cared for properly, and with due respect, it will last a lifetime and be an invaluable tool in your kitchen. I have a set of global knives which have been slicing, dicing, chopping and working hard for me for well over a decade already. 

8. Table napkins. Unless you are eating something extraordinarily messy, greasy or stain worthy, why not invest in a few sets of table napkins to enjoy with every meal?  I have many (Too many according to my minimalist husband) some summery, some with fall vibes, Christmassy designs, pure line, even Spode ones to match my heirloom Spode Blue Italian. We have a fresh set at each place setting which I change our almost daily depending on usage, and then I toss them in the wash I used to iron them all, but for everyday I find if I fold them well that's adequate for a week night hasty family meal, and I keep the starched, more special ones for weekends, guest or special occasions and celebrations. 

9. A teacup/ coffee cup and saucer. I promise- these are not old fashioned or just for your grandmother. You will notice and appreciate the difference. It will encourage you to savor each sip and pause- not slurp from a bug whilst dashing around the kitchen. I change my preferred morning coffee and afternoon tea cup and saucers with the season, my mood, and the contents. Sometimes delicate fine china is called for, sometimes a Christmas tree or easter bunny, sometime a large boat or a cup and saucer is all that will do! My grandfather took his morning tea every day in the biggest tea cups I have every seen- while always preparing one for my grandmother - Spode naturally, cup and saucer and a rich tea biscuit on the side. 

I hope you've enjoyed this little list of luxurious yet attainable and useable items and ideas and you may find a new joy or love for one or two of them in the future. 

Have a Beautifull weekend 

 Savoring simple daily pleasures

This week has been one of those weeks- It has raced by in a bit of a blur of work, appointments, dance classes, chores, errands and social engagements. 

But, in amongst these full days and evenings, I have consciously made time and found little moments and pockets of calm, making the week that much more pleasurable and allowing reflection and tranquility to settle, however briefly. In turn, this helps the busyness to feel less overwhelming, and the full schedule to feel less draining- when punctuated with moments of pure joy and contentment.

 A pause to bend and breathe the scent of the intoxicating roses deeply; a good, bracing walk, with a coffee stop in which to chat at leisure with a friend; a regular loop walk one warm evening stopping to catch up with several locals, friends, and acquaintances; sinking into fresh bed linens with a new book;  enjoying my freshly cleaned home before a maelstrom of teenage culinary creation takes hold- again; re sticking my fridge and pantry with good, healthy nutritious food; Barbequeing and eating dinner al fresco for the first time this season; waking naturally with the pink glow of dawn not an intrusive alarm clock. 

All this is helped greatly by the longer warmer days as we head towards summer here. 

I have intentionally and thoughtfully tuned in and listened to my body since returning from our Fijian sojourn- despite the lighter mornings and longer days, I'm finding the routine I have kept for years is just not suiting me at the moment. I fought it for a while and kept pushing myself and berating myself a little for not managing to accomplish my usual 5am starts and vigorous workouts immediately upon waking. I was at the point where I'd wake up groggily from the alarm, drag myself out of bed, and then be so tired I wasn't able to put in the effort to achieve a worthwhile run or workout, then I'd be left tired from waking early, and having not managed to accomplish what I set out to by getting up then. It was loose loose. 

So I'm being gentle on myself- I've pulled back from the 5am's and although I'm usually still semi-conscious by then I'm dozing and resting until closer to 6am. With the weather a little more settled, drier, and a whole lot warmer, I can walk to my place of work pretty much 5 days a week- so Im still active first thing, and other days I might manage 20 minutes of resistance training or yoga before my morning shower and routines. Longer evenings mean I always have time to fit in some other form of exercise and still eat a healthy, nutritious meal at a reasonable time before the sun sets, and I feel so much more relaxed and in control for it. It's as though a weight has lifted (If you pardon the pun) and I have let go of the guilt and sense of obligation. Rhythms change, and it's okay to adapt and change with them. It's not to say I'll never start regularly rising at 5am again- but clearly, my body would rather have the extra rest for this chapter. 

Amazingly Its like a release and an instant energizer, free of the constraints of a routine that was no longer serving me but that I had been trying to bully myself into submission of continuously. 

Sometimes its only when we allow ourselves to step back and look objectively, that we see the tweaks and changes required to meet our current needs that our subconscious is potentially screaming at us!

A dear friend and colleague was admitted to hospital recently for a stay they had not anticipated. Happily, they are making good progress and recovering well, but her ordeal served as a timely reminder to be gentle on ourselves. Tune in, and show the same patience and compassion to ourselves as we would a dear friend or loved one. 

Take those few moments to light a candle, read a few pages, have a conversation, write a letter, smell a rose- they are just as important and nurturing as a grueling cardio session. There is no point in having a healthy strong body if we cant enjoy living in it. 

Today is Sunday, and while yesterday was pleasantly busy with household tasks and errands, lawn mowing and grocery shopping, manicures and beach walks, for the first time in a LONG time, today feels blissfully like a true day of rest. nothing is nagging or niggling at me, there is a scant list of have-to's which are very minor and not unpleasant or taxing, and for the most part, the day is deliciously stretching out ahead of me after this morning's long, early walk. 

Bliss. A day to savour indeed.  

The sunlight streaming through the house before 7am this morning, promising a warm sunny late spring Sunday- even while highlighting my dirty windows - fills me with joy. 

 Savoring simple daily pleasures 

I came across this concept in book I was reading poolside this past week (Before "real life" kicked back in)  I was so taken with the idea- it was almost as if a light bulb had gone off- an A-Ha moment indeed. 

The Monte Carlo Fallacy

One infamous evening in 1913, gamblers lost Millions of Francs in a casino in Monte Carlo, on the French Riviera. 

At the roulette table the ball kept landing on black repeatedly, causing a crowd to gather, placing increasingly higher bets - convinced the streak was about to end.  26 consecutive blacks we played before finally landing on red. 

The Belief that the probability of future events changes, based on past events. 

This is a mistake we can all relate to to some degree. How often have we reflected on something and presumed that based on the previous outcomes we can predict and forecast the result. 

We are fully capable of breaking the mold, tricking the system, and re-directing our paths. 

Just because something has happened a certain way a handful of times (or more) previously, doesn't mean it will continue to do so. We need to be open to the possibility of change, and to let the universe, God, or whatever higher power, being, or force you believe in, weave its mysteries for the good. 

We are so quick to judge, to be pessimistic, to be self-depreciative, to assume the worst- based on past experiences. Where in reality - mostly these things have an equal chance to turn to good- to become a positive and rewarding experience. 

This may be a huge success in finally overcoming a barrier such as public speaking, a first date, conversing in another language and being fully understood,  combating and controlling a fear or phobia, or producing perfectly pillowy pizza dough, publishing a first book, or running a marathon. 

Just because these are things you've not previously achieved, that you've failed at before- you have manifested them in your mind as unachievable hurdles; I urge you to re-look at them. Think of Monte Carlo, and allow yourself to look forward without looking to the past for answers. 

Undoubtedly there will be times when the black keeps showing up again and again, metaphorically, but at some point, the probability goes out the window, and the red will turn up. It might be the next turn, it might be another 100. But we need to keep trying and be open to the possibility, believe that it will happen, when the time is right, when the stars align, and when we are ready to receive, we will.

When you flip a coin there is a 50/50 chance of it being heads. Those odds don't change no matter how many times you flip it.  

The mind is a very powerful tool indeed. I'll leave it there for this post, I just felt drawn to highlighting this little anecdote.